My tears burst out. Crying in silent. The image of her keeps floating in my mind. I’m sorry. I did not means to. I’m sorry, dear! I’m sorry! Please forgive me! I’m sorry because I’m poor! I’m sorry because I do not have those strength!! I’m sorry!
Sitting around the corner, I still remember those moments. Like a movie. It is replaying again. On my mind.
“She is sick. She’s very sick. I need to have your signature for the operation as soon as possible,”
I froze. As soon as possible? How can I manage to get those money? It was such a large amount? I cannot afford it.
I stared at her. My child. My precious child. My only daughter. Why we must end up like this?
“How much time that she has?”
Not much. The answer itself tear my heart away. How could I live without her? She was everything to me!! The doctor left me alone. He knew. He knew that I needed space. He knew that it was very hard for me to take. My only child. Going to leave me. Alone. In this huge world.
Why you must leave me at this moment? Our daughter needs you! Why, Danish? Why? You left me nothing! Not even a single cent! I was depending on you for everything! You asked me to stop working. I did it! I followed every single word that you told me! I skipped school! I don’t care about education! It was all because of you!
You promised to take care of me! You promised to stay by my side! For every single moment! But now you left. You left me all alone. Where were those promises, Danish? Where?!
I have no money in my pocket. I have no money in my account. I work day and night. But, it never enough. She’s growing. She needs a lots of money. Clothes. Milk. Diapers. Now?
“Madam, I have got a good news to you. Someone wants to pay for all the bills,”
I hold onto the mattress. Someone wants to pay for all the bills? Why? I followed the doctor. Towards a couple that sitting on the chair.
Rich. They were rich. Looking at their handbag. Their personality. Their style. I knew it. But why? I did not know them.
“I can pay for all the expenses. But, after that, you baby will be mine.”
I shut my eyes. Those words. Like a knife being stabbed into my heart. Why life was so cruel? I did not want to lose her!
I declined the offer. But, their word made me paralyzed. Only a week left. She just got a week left to live. Without the operation, she cannot bear it. Her heart cannot withstand the pain.
Why?! You and me were inseparable. How could I live without you? Being apart from you, it was the last thing ever popped out in my mind. But, now, I needed to choose. But, all of the options, left me to one conclusion.
You and me. We will be apart.
I looked up at the couple. Slowly, I nodded my heart. I’m sorry, dear. I needed to let you go. For you to stay happy. For you to stay breathing. I need to take this option. Let me suffer. But, I will be okay if you are okay. I will be okay because you will stay alive.
I need to sacrifice my heart. My pride. My everything. My baby. Remember me in your dreams. Don’t you cry. Somebody got you. They will provide you a good life. Better than me.
Sacrificing something is hard. But, I need to take the route. Because if I don’t, she would never have a chance to enjoy this life. And because I know. The children would have never achieved anything without their mother’s sacrifice.